I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
