i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
