she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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