After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
