Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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