Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
