dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
