How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
