stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize