STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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