How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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