finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
