I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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