What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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