I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
