I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
