Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Randomize
