Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
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