Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
