woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
