Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hippo gnu deer
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
