So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
