There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
All I want is dick and wine.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize