Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
