Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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