And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
