he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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