Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
