i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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