I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Alive.
So much puke
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
