dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
