You can't motorboat a personality
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
