I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
