Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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