i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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