He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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