Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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