Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
