and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
