So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
