How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
