the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
