i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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