it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
