I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize