discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
