She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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