Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
