Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
