So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
