I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
