your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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