Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
