So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
