not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Buhtt sex?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
